


Disney Did Hans (and us) Dirty

by redlipstickkisses (owldork1998)



Series: Tell Me a Story (before it all ends) [16]
Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Blog post, F/M, Good Hans (Disney), In Defense of Hans, Meta, This was my final for a class on fairytales, Written for a Class, but hey I had a word limit, just me dragging disney for shitty writing, no fic here, not as in depth as I would have liked, the trolls cursed hans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22285876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owldork1998/pseuds/redlipstickkisses
Summary: Whenever Frozen is mentioned in my vicinity a rant about the character of Hans and Disney’s hypocritical “feminism” is soon to follow. To get everyone on the same page, this is going to be about inconsistent characterization, the way Disney handled romance in Frozen and some proposed edits to the film that would make the narrative flow smoother; presented in the internet's favorite way to consume media! A numbered list complete with visual aids.
Relationships: Anna/Hans (Disney), Anna/Kristoff (Disney)
Series: Tell Me a Story (before it all ends) [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1580152
Comments: 12
Kudos: 79





	Disney Did Hans (and us) Dirty

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I am starting Frozen discourse in the year of our lord 2020. If I have to suffer everyone else gets to suffer with me. Feel free to disagree.

Whenever Frozen is mentioned in my vicinity a rant about the character of Hans and Disney’s hypocritical “feminism” is soon to follow. To get everyone on the same page, this is going to be about the way Disney handled romance in Frozen and some proposed edits to the film that would make the narrative flow smoother; presented in the internet's favorite way to consume media! A numbered list complete with visual aids.

#1

The Problem With Hans

As my friends will tell you and the title probably gave away, Hans is my favorite character in Frozen and his romance with Anna is a large part of that. In the movie Hans accidentally runs into Anna with his horse leading to a scene where the two of them have a rather awkward exchange while falling over each other in a boat.  Then as Anna leaves Hans gets dumped into the water. 

He watches Anna leave with this face:

Friends and Foes that is not the face of a man scheming- that is the face of a man in love. I know because it's _ the exact same face _ I make when talking with my own fiance- you can not fake that kind of adoration. We get a montage of Hans and Anna getting to know each other at the coronation, having very personal conversations and during “Love is an Open Door” (which is such a good love song I’m so mad they made it Hans’ “villain song”) they are seen genuinely enjoying each other's company. But then they approach Elsa and my third least favorite line in the movie is uttered:

  
  


Now let's unpack exactly what I hate about this line. I proposed to my fiance before we started dating- I’ve been engaged to her for over 2 years now and I still haven’t met her in person and won’t get to for 2 more months. That does not mean we do not have a relationship based on open communication, compassion, and mutual nerdery. When royals get married there are months of negotiating and planning, its not unusual for it to take  _ years. _ So when Hans proposed to Anna he wasn’t saying “lets elope to Vegas” he was saying “hey I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life with someone like you and look forward to learning more about you”. I’m not saying that I think getting married on a whim is a good idea but I hate how Disney handles the whole “love at first sight” in this film. I’ll get to that when I discuss Kristoff but for now lets focus on Hans’ character assassination. Over and over Han’s is shown to be a kind and compassionate person. 

When Anna decides to go after Elsa and orders Hans to stay at the castle he is genuinely concerned for her safety:

Hans defending Elsa and Anna when the Duke is talking Treason (and it should be noted right before this he is also handing out blankets to people):

  
  


Hans realizing Elsa’s life is in danger and trying to save her:

Look at that. Genuine Concern. Now why do I bring this up? Because of The Scene That Ruined Everything. Guys, gals and pals I present my least favorite quote in the entirety of Frozen:

Not only is this contrary to everything Hans has done so far. It. Makes.  _ No. Sense! _ Hans had every opportunity to kill the sisters and seize the kingdom but chose to defend them every time so this “plot twist” is more a slap in the face. There is no foreshadowing of Hans villainy, no reason to think he is anything but someone who just wants to help and THAT is Bad Writing at its worst my friends. 

#2

How To Undermine Your Message In One Scene

I want to go on the record saying that I think Kristoff and Anna make an adorable couple. However their romance completely ruins the theme of the movie- that platonic love is often stronger than romantic love. They have a great dynamic but they are only getting to know each other and have never had an important emotional conversation like the one Anna has with Hans. And yes I’m going to say that because it wasn’t in the film it didn’t happen because today we are trying to fix the mess Disney handed us rather than writing fanfiction. Face it Kristoff and Anna know less about each other than Hans and Anna. 

Which brings me to my second least favorite line in Frozen:  


Oh how I could write novels about how much I detest this line- especially because it is followed by this moment at the end of the film:

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of my screaming. 

Kristoff and Anna should not have ended Frozen in a romance, they should have ended it as friends. Like it or not Disney has been making fun of Anna for rushing into a romantic relationship this entire movie, only to have her end up in another romantic relationship. If they wanted to make Kristoff/Anna a canon romantic relationship they should have waited until Frozen 2 (And I’m still salty it wasn’t called  _ Thawed _ ) because this scene just makes Disney look like a bunch of hypocrites and ruined any kind of faux “feminist” stance that Anna Don’t Need No Man.

#3

How To Fix This Fixer Upper

So now that I’ve critiqued the mess we got I’m going to propose a few painless solutions that would have led to a much more compelling and emotional ending. 

  1. Add in some actual foreshadowing for Hans, I’ll take anything at this point. 
  2. Follow up on the Trolls ominous lyrics in “Fixer Upper”. Seriously “Her quote 'engagement' is a flex arrangement” and “Get the fiancé out of the way and the whole thing will be fixed” are incredibly ominous and it’s no wonder people believe the reason Hans acted so out of character is because the Trolls enchanted him.
  3. Just make The Duke the Villain- I’m begging here. Cut Han’s whole “If only there was someone who could love you” scene. It’s sloppy, lazy and flat out doesn’t make sense. Instead have The Duke- who has actively plotted against the sisters- intercept Anna and frame Hans for it before telling Hans Elsa froze Anna’s heart, killing her. You don’t even have to change the ending or any of Anna’s scenes with Olaf. Just think about how much more compelling Hans’ “Your sister is dead because of you” would have been if he himself was grieving. You can even have him attempt to kill Elsa only this time in a misguided act of revenge. (I hurt myself thinking about Hans realizing Anna wasn’t dead and that if she had turned to ice a second later he would have seriously injured if not killed her alot)
  4. No Kristoff/Anna kiss. I just spent like 500 words explaining why. 



TLDR: Frozen is a mediocre mess of wasted potential, Disney did Hans dirty, and they should hire me as a script doctor immediately.


End file.
